Many people fear peace and quiet.
They have to have noises going on in the house constantly,
or they go nuts. I have a friend who will go through the house, turning on
televisions, music, computers, then leave and go another floor of the house and
do it again. This is in a house with two children under the age of 5 who cry
several times each hour, and with police and fire department vehicles driving
by day and night.
A rare thing for major city dwellers.
Personal peace.
Non-existent in a mind filled with conflict, anger or guilt.
Quiet is external, and mostly found in wilderness settings,
like forests, deserts, mountains and seashores. Personal peace is the absence
of internal war.
“Be still, and know that I am God”.
When was the last time you were really, really still, and
listened to God’s voice instead of music, movies, TV, gossip, the phone, etc? Perhaps
the city you live in is never quiet, the family you live with is always
screaming, or maybe you have roommates or parents that don’t respect your
space.
Think about a place in or near your home where you can go
and find quiet and a little nature, such as parks and churches. I bought an artificial
stone waterfall at a home supply store, and set it up on my patio with plants
and flowers around it. That waterfall was my prayer place for many years; it
created a “white noise” that shut out some of the city’s constant calls for
attention. Some people find that staring into a fire or moving water helps them
meditate and focus on God. Don’t forget that Jesus said to pray in your closet.
Quiet.
Several times a year, and once a month if possible, I like
to spend a weekend in nature and away from people. I enjoy camping in an RV,
renting cabins in the mountains, a drive along a rugged beach or even a visit to
botanical gardens. The quiet helps me listen to God’s voice, and the nature
helps me to see and admire God as an artist and scientist.
Perhaps you are so afraid of your own thoughts or of your
own conscience that you fear quiet. As a gay kid growing up in an
ultra-conservative protestant home, I knew all about trying to run from my
thoughts. It was not enough that I felt almost every kid at school hated me
because I was fat, couldn’t catch a football, and was queer. My parents, the
teachers and every adult I knew seemed to want to make sure that I understood
that “God Hates Homosexuals”, and that I had to hate myself as well.
Homophobia
begins at home, and along with most other gay kids raised in Republican, conservative
religious homes in the 1970s, I learned to hate and fear my natural desire for
others of my own sex. Such self hatred causes much of the drug abuse, drinking,
promiscuous sex, smoking, and other destructive behavior in the gay community
today. Since we think God and the world hates us, we try to kill ourselves
slowly because we are so bad.
Bare your soul to God in a quiet place every day. If you
hate yourself because you are gay, an addict, fat, or some other reason, just
tell God about it. He loves you, and has a wonderful plan for your life.
If you cannot face your own thoughts without TV, music,
drugs, drinking etc, and if you cannot tell God about it, I recommend therapy.
Find someone who will listen to you talk, and help you understand yourself
better. A good therapist is not someone who tells you what to do or how to live
your life. A good therapist is one who holds up a mirror to your life and says
“this is what you are doing. Is that what you want to be doing?” But much
better if you can just find a spot quiet enough to listen to God’s voice, and
speak to Him your prayer “I am your servant Lord, what would you have me do?”
Then Stop.
Long Enough.
To get an Answer.
From God, and not your Wild Imaginings.
Keywords: Guilt, fear, prayer, quiet, peace, Jesus, God,
bible, Christian, gay, GLBT, homophobia, republican, it gets better, personal
peace
